Vaccines, Phobias, and Control
I got my first Pfizer dose last week.
(This is about needle phobia. Skip to the end if you want to see what I’m reading this week. And if you’re anti-vax, just unsubscribe.)
This was a huge accomplishment for me. I had some childhood health problems that left me with a phobia of injections. I’ve run out of operating rooms wearing only a hospital johnny and fuzzy socks. I once punched a nurse who tried to insert an IV line. I bit a dentist. Medical treatment meant a panic attack. My primary care doctor finally prescribed me Ativan to take the edge off, so I’m now able to get blood draws. That necessitates having a companion take me to the doctor’s office or hospital, because I can’t drive myself. While that works in the before-times, it’s not exactly an option right now.
I have pierced ears. I’ve stabbed myself with sewing needles and knitting needles. I’ve cut myself while cooking. I have a tattoo. What is the difference between that and a medical injection or a blood draw or an IV?
Control.
As a child, I had no control over what was done to me medically. As an adult, I have more bodily autonomy. I can say no to thins, and I can find a way to yes. I am not trapped or restrained. I can find a way through to what needs to be done. I can recognize my fears, and their causes, and find a way through them to what needs to be done.
I know how important vaccines are. I know the value of vaccinations. I knew I would be signing up for one as soon as I was eligible. I knew I couldn’t let my fears control me.
Last fall, I got my first flu shot (I know, I know, but phobias). I had a small panic attack in the treatment room, but I was able to deal with the injection. Since that was the test case, and I passed it, I knew I would be OK getting the vaccine shot on my own. And I was. I’m looking forward to my second dose, and what comes after.
Reading: Who’s Your Daddy by Arisa White
Cooking: Bacon & cheddar scones from King Arthur Flour
Cards: Sasuraibito Tarot & Women of Science Tarot